


Scintillating Conversation

by BarefootJourney



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23028376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarefootJourney/pseuds/BarefootJourney
Summary: Phoebe unintentionally suggests a new way to fight the Borg...  Janeway likes to feign being a prude, and is sorely outnumbered by everyone's interest in this topic."So, random question... can Borg have orgasms? Or rather... borgasms?.... because it's kind of a biochemical, electrical response and I'm just wondering if that's possible.."
Relationships: Icheb/Naomi Wildman, Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine, Tom Paris/B'Elanna Torres
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	Scintillating Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> This is likely a work in progress and I may add a few more chapters because I'm curious as to how much hilarity this conversation can devolve into when Seven, Icheb, and Tuvok show up.

The biweekly Saturday dinner at the Janeway homestead had begun to gather guests early.  
Tom arrived that morning to repair the tractor and give the old truck a tune-up. It was really something he did with delight - being able to play with antiques, but he weaseled one of Gretchen's pies out of the deal. 

B'Elanna dropped Miral off with her grandparents and picked up some tomato seedlings and new netting for the blueberries. She had tried to talk Gretchen into just installing a forcefield around them, but Traditionalist values were solidly in place. 

After having finished their work, the couple relaxed around the porch table, joined by Phoebe, and a few minutes later, Kathryn, who perched on the railing, allowing the Spring sun to warm her back.

Phoebe, whose thoughts were about as filtered as swamp water, asked a question that made her older sister learn first hand that coffee does not make a good sinus rinse. 

"So, random question... can Borg have orgasms? Or rather... borgasms?.... because it's kind of a biochemical, electrical response and I'm just wondering if that's possible.." 

"PHOEBE!!!" Janeway squawked.

Tom jumped in before the admonishment could progress "No, Captain, I kinda wanna know the answer to that...." 

B'Elanna wasn't much help, either.  
"Actually, if they can, and one that's still connected to the hive mind is properly stimulated... it might cause a collective response. And possibly temporarily disable or overload all immediate systems directly linked to that Unimatrix. It would at least bring a few temporary moments of chaos to their order." 

"Can we test this theory?!" 

"You will be Stimulated, Resistance is Futile." 

"Who is stimulating what?" 

"Mom!" 

Everyone turned to see Gretchen nonchalantly leaning against a porch railing, sipping her tea. 

"No, honey, I'm well covered on that front, thank you for your concern, though. So now, who is resisting stimulation?" 

"The Borg." Tom answered for the group. 

"And why do we want to stimulate them?" 

"Because it might be an effective method against them in battle," B'Elanna supplied. 

Gretchen nodded, easily wading into this ridiculous theoretical conversation, to her eldest daughter's horror. "I see. Do we have any plans on how that would happen?" 

"Not yet. The idea just came up." Tom gestured to the empty seat at the table, and Gretchen obliged.


End file.
